So, there’s something you need to know about mirrors something understands about who I was or what I’ve been through can help you understand Who I am.
See you in the past I’ve always had traditionally pretty bad luck with relationships in high school every relationship I had ended on exactly one month. No matter what I did always and that let me irreversible knowledge that it truly was me it wasn’t the other person whatever was wrong with my dating life it was my fault.
This messed me up for a long time, it’s one of the reasons I’m so self-conscious today I’m always afraid someone because I know there’s something wrong with me. I’m afraid if I messed something up that she’ll leave. I don’t know why and I don’t even know how sometimes until it’s too late. But what can I do that’s who I am and I guess I can change it.
I suppose it derives from even farther back to me growing up with my dad, something for stats are a hard ass my dad was emotionally abusive I know he didn’t mean to be and I know you cared about me but he also abuse the hell out of me. I don’t know if I’ll ever know the full extent to which a messed up because of my past but I know it’s affecting me now. The same time I don’t wanted that to be my crush I want to fix it I don’t want to leave all that is an excuse because it’s not an excuse I need to be better I need to grow up I need to be my own man and that means taking responsibility right now.
It wasn’t till I was a junior in college that I had a really long one month and the first relationship I have longer than one month last four years and it was not physically but emotionally probably from both ways but I suspect now that a lot of it was derived from the other person and that’s also another thing that’s made my subconscious in my current relationship.
I know you can’t see into my past and I know I’m not a very good writer, but I can explain to you to look at those girls would give me every time I messed up every time they stop caring about me every time I went from someone interesting. It was a look of half discussed half of surprise. Kind of look you give someone when you don’t really consider them unequal humans that look toward me apart for so long from so many people. But again who am I to make excuses
Everybody has problems, but mine are really staying with me maybe I can figure out why and leave my past behind
Or maybe I can’t
You serious so, I apologize if not everything is structured for medically correct
Till next time listeners
Can I be Real for a second? 